I always hear people -- usually mothers -- say almost derisively that cats are not like kids. And I agree with them, to a point. Last Christmas I spent a week with my 2 year-old niece and newborn nephew, and I can honestly say my cat has never made me that tired in all the 5 years we have had together. Having a toddler use you as a jungle gym is a lot different than having a cat do the same. But for the sake of argument, and --dare I say it-- truth, I'd like to point out that in many ways, cats are very much like kids, particularly to that childless faction of the population which very much wishes for human offspring, but for whatever reason has yet to be blessed with babies who aren't four-legged and covered in fur.
For those people, the fur-baby set, cats or dogs or even ferrets or rats or chinchillas can and do become children. And it's usually people who cannot understand this bond who ridicule it. After all, how could raising a cat compare to raising a human child? I don't have to sit over here and worry that if I screw something up somewhere along the line, Jude's going to become a serial killer or a narcissistic psychopath -- although even if he does become one, all he can kill is the bugs who get into the living room around the edges of the air conditioner. I don't have to worry that he'll go out and get a girl pregnant, or crash his car on Prom night and become a quadriplegic. But that doesn't mean I don't worry about him -- his mental health and his physical health -- as much as any other mother worries about her 2-legged child.
Using Jude as an example, here are some ways cats are like kids:
1. They get sick. Sometimes they get really sick. And just like parents of human kids will rush their ailing babes off to the E.R. in the middle of the night, so will the parents of furry kids. Just like the parents of human kids, the parents of furry kids would rather saw off their own limbs as payment for medical treatment than see their children suffer. And we will do unpleasant, sometimes completely disgusting things to ensure their continued health. A few years ago, Jude suffered a series of urinary tract infections. I dosed him with antibiotics even though he thrashed and bit and squalled. When I had to collect a urine sample and he refused to pee in a box full of packing peanuts -- which is the veterinarian-recommended, easiest way to collect a urine sample from a cat -- I was reduced to crawling around on the bathroom floor with an eyedropper sucking up puddles of pee. When he had to stay overnight at the vet's for a procedure, I was so worried about him I couldn't sleep. And when I was told he had a chronic problem with crystallized urine and would need a very expensive prescription diet for the rest of his life, I shelled out for it and will continue to do so, even if I have to eat Ramen and peanut butter sandwiches for 2 straight weeks to cover it. To some people -- even people with pets -- these measures are extreme and ridiculous. But pet parents are different from pet owners. The bond is different. It's love, and it will stop at nothing short of everything it can do.
2. Cats make messes. Huge messes. While it is true that they can generally be left home alone for extended periods of time, that doesn't mean you should expect your home to be in one piece when you get back. Once I came home and found Jude surrounded by 5 pounds of kibble he had ripped open and spread from corner to corner. Then there were the decimated houseplants, the unrolled and shredded toilet paper, and the time he crawled into the garbage can after some Chinese leftovers and came out with his fur matted together with sweet and sour sauce, little bits of disgusting clinging to him, and trash scattered through the living room. There followed more than an hour's fiasco of bathing the cat and restraining him to blow his fur dry so it wouldn't tangle into mats and result in a very unflattering haircut.
3. Cats get bored with their toys and bug you instead. Just like human kids, cats need to play, and just like human kids, they would rather pester their people-parents than do so quietly by themselves. This apartment is scattered with cat toys: mice with catnip and mice with bells, fuzzy things that rattle and little balls that jingle, things that dangle temptingly for doorknobs and blow in the breeze from the air conditioner. And still Jude will sit before me and whine, and still he will persist in displaying his boredom by doing things he knows he is not supposed to do. One little white paw will reach up from underneath the coffee table and send things crashing to the floor, one by one. Or he will jump up onto the dresser and saunter to and fro among my Granny Brown's antique dolls, even though he knows better. Or he will find a snag in the carpet and rip it and pull it until it becomes a run that spans several feet. This especially occurs when I'm trying to work. He'll pester the bejeezuz out of me by reaching through the slats in the back of my chair and swatting me on the ass, or he'll bite my toes or walk across the keyboard while I'm typing, all the while mrowling his version of, "Mom, Mom, Mom, I'm bored, Mom, look at me, Mom, there's nothing to do, Mom, Mom, Mom." And I can't just send him to his room till he behaves. He doesn't have one. This whole place is his room.
4. Cats need love and affection, just like kids do. Cats are capable of being afraid of things, just like any other creature that lives. Jude hates the wind. When it whistles and howls in the wintertime, he will seek me out and hide his head under my arm and shake like a leaf. And just like a parent would do for a small child, I rub his back and whisper to him in a reassuring voice until he calms down. Cats get lonely: sometimes Jude will jump up into my lap just for a hug and then saunter away again, reassured of our bond. It's not possible to keep a cat truly happy just by setting out a dish of cream -- in fact, cat's aren't supposed to have cream OR milk, because they're lactose intolerant. Just like with human kids, just because the cat kid likes it doesn't mean you should give it to him.
These are just a handful of reasons cats are like kids; I can think of a lot more. And this is by no means a slight to people who raise actual human children -- just, I don't know, a little lesson in what kids really are. Let's be honest; those of you with human kids don't just love them because they're bipedal and they look like you or call you Mommy. There's more to it than that, and it's the same way with cat kids or dog kids or ferret kids or chinchilla kids. To love someone, really love them, whether human or animal, is an investment of time and energy and emotion, and it isn't all that different from one species to another.
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