Saturday, March 24, 2012

Breathing Room

Oh my goodness. Have I really not posted since January?! I am so sorry, guys! I'm so busy these days, I can't tell whether I'm coming or going ...

I graduate college in less than two months. HOW FREAKY IS THAT?!! I gotta buy that dress ... I want to get my pictures done by my friends Josh and Sarah at Grimestone Photography, too. Just special, to celebrate the achievement. And of course you guys can pick a favorite and have it autographed. :)

I've been doing my internship at a place called Crossroads this semester. Mostly it's outpatient drug and alcohol rehab, but we've started doing some mental health stuff too, and a teeny little bit of couple's counseling. I don't think D&A is really for me at this point, but I'm hoping against hope that they'll hire me after graduation so I can get on my feet in the field. I don't know, though. They have an MSW intern too, and if she wants a job she'll most likely get one ahead of me.

I don't really care what I do to start out with. I have it figured up, and since I don't have a car and all those expenses, I could survive on $10/hour or an equivalent salary, with Medigap for meds and doctor's appointments. Outside of Housing. That is the important part. I don't really care what I do to start out with as long as I can survive outside of Housing. The more time goes by, the more I despise living here. There is the problem of lack of accessible housing in this area, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I'm sure I could modify an apartment, or hop 45 minutes over to State College and room with a friend of mine who offered. Or move in with Biz and Tim and scoot down the stairs on my butt. I have options. Some of them maybe aren't the most dignified, but they'll work if they must.

It's exciting and nerve-wracking, that I have started checking the Classifieds for jobs and little apartments. I feel on the cusp of something big, a change, a chance to do more and be more. I just hope I'm not disappointed. I'm not asking much out of life right now: a little more room to breathe, a place to turn around in without bumping into some rickety piece of 2nd or 3rd-hand furniture, another cat, perhaps. I'd like to be a mother one of these days through some means or another, but you gotta crawl before you can walk and walk before you run. So really all I want is that breathing room. I can at least get that. I hope.

I'm doing a lot of hoping lately! (Everybody stand back ... shit's about to get real.)