It is ten minutes of eleven in Central PA, and I am sitting on my couch with half a dozen donuts and a bottle of wine. It was either that or an obscenely stale cigarette from a pack I've had for approximately two and a half years, and I don't need to be anywhere near fire right now. Not with how I'm feeling. I got this little gem today:
Tiffy get out of your little fantasy world You were not treated as bad as you carry on you have always lived in a fantasy if people really wanted to know the whole story it seems that they would be trying to talk to your real family if it w...as so bad you had plently of opportunity to let me or anyone else know you are a spoiled little brat that can"t deal with the fact that you are a leg licker nobody else cares you need to deal with it you want everyone else to feel sorry for you because you can"t deal with yourself And I've been told to fuck off by better your words don"t hurt me but the way you hurt your grandparents and your parents and you brother aunts uncles why do you make them suffer because Somebody did"nt kiss your ass is wrong Have a good life Tiff You are nuts and leave Levi out of it he will be fine
There are things I want to say to this. Many, many, many things. They will do no good; I know that by now. But I'm pissed and it will make me feel better, so I am going to say them anyway.
1. Do not call me Tiffy. You have forever lost the right to call me Tiffy. It is a term of endearment I will no longer accept from you, because the only thing I want to endear you to from now on is my foot up your ass.
2. If I really had always lived in a fantasy, it sure as hell wouldn't have had so much blood in it. Or so many hospitals. Or social workers. Or tears.
3. Let you know? LET YOU KNOW?! ARE YOU BLIND? ARE YOU STUPID? You'll recall that I TRIED to let you -- and everyone else -- know. I told, didn't I? More than once. But I wasn't little and cute anymore by then, so no one believed me. Including you, you self-righteous bitch. So don't tell me how many opportunities I had to LET YOU KNOW. You ignored me then just like you're ignoring me now. But hey, whatever you have to do to sleep at night.
4. Leg licker? Is this some kind of anti-lesbian term I have yet to hear? Or have you been watching too many Orbit gum commercials? I'd call you a cunt licker in retaliation, but it would be an insult to my kind.
5. As for dealing with myself, I do that every day. You want a confession? Fine. In my lifetime I have lied, stolen, and set things on fire. I have picked fights; I have been selfish at the expense of others. I never claimed to be a perfect person, ESPECIALLY as a kid. These days I have a short temper and a low tolerance for stress. I know my faults. I have plenty of them. It seems to me that YOU'RE the one who has the problem dealing with herself: I can admit all these things to the world, but you can't acknowledge that your inaction contributed to my suffering. Which makes me stronger than you will ever be.
6.You've been told to fuck off by better, huh? Well, I find that hard to believe because bitch, it don't get no better than me. I don't owe you a damn thing, and I didn't HAVE to give you another chance to be in my life, but I did. And the fact that I am not burning you in effigy or sticking pins through your little poppet eyes right now speaks for itself. Do not doubt the power I have to make you suffer if I so choose. The only reason your bones aren't breaking one at a time is because I am honorable enough to keep an oath to do no harm.
7. I hurt you? You're really, seriously bringing up how I hurt YOU. Let me tell you something, you rancid sack of pus. Kids don't move out of state, change their names and find new families because they grew up well-adjusted. They do it because no one gave them what they needed where they started out. You abandoned me, and we both know it. You don't want to admit it, but you know it. And what about that letter in February, huh? You don't think that hurt? If my saving my own ass hurts you, then perhaps you should have done it for me. I was a child, after all. You know what they say: you want something done right, do it yourself.
8. I didn't bring Levi into it. You did, when you hacked into his facebook account to send me your snotty little message. The fact that I called you on it does not change the truth.
9. This is the second time in a year you've told me to have a nice life. Perhaps I would, if you would actually leave it.
10. I can't believe you used to be my favorite aunt. I'd die a thousand brutal deaths before I did something like this to MY niece.
No comments:
Post a Comment